


New Policies

by mistakeandcheese



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Concern, Environmentalism, FACE Family, Family, Gen, Historical Hetalia, Implied abuse, Intervention, Politics, implied donald trump, paris climate accord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistakeandcheese/pseuds/mistakeandcheese
Summary: France delivers an intervention, of sorts.
Relationships: America & Canada & England & France (Hetalia), America & France (Hetalia)
Kudos: 30





	New Policies

*originally written in 2018*

“You know, _Amérique_ , what you’re doing is quite...unfashionable.” France took a sip of his coffee and crossed his legs underneath the dainty glass table that winked with white sunlight between him and younger nation, as they brunched atop a vine circled balcony jutting from the Parisian apartment complex. 

“Y’think?”

“ _Oui_.”

The bespeckled blonde crossed his arms, unknowingly sending the older country irresistible reminder of the petulant attitude from his childhood. 

“Of course you would. That’s all you care about, isn’t it? Fashion. Let me tell you--there’s a hell of a lot more to the world than just fashion.”

The European’s carefully angled eyebrow quirked up in a quick, subtle gesture of judgment. “True. You must understand that I only used that word to be polite.”

There was a gruff, skeptical snort from the American. “You mean, you think I’m too dumb to know when you’re being condescending.”

France gave a quiet chuckle that seemed to loop through the air, chasing lazily the path of a circling bee that had found its way into their warm, dappled enclave. “Oh no, _Cher_ , I would much sooner imagine that you are numb to it, given your compromising choice of political...leadership.”

An annoyed blush came to the boy’s face. “Listen, I’ve heard it all, Frenchie. I don’t have any time to hear it all again. So why don’t you drop that high nose of yours and talk straight for once.”

“Fine,” France said shortly, setting his cup down with a sharp, glassy clack. “I’ll speak in bullets, if it is convenient for you.”

“Good.”

“Very good.”

“Go.”

“Your ecological footprint is horrendous.”

“I know. I’ve got big feet.”

“Don’t interrupt me. Your economy is ruled by lobbyists who’s fingers drip with oil each time they reach into their wallets. Your public transportation is subpar. Your diet is inefficient. Your regulations lag. And it seems there is nobody taking care of any of it.”

The black coffee resting on the American’s side trembled from the boy’s laughter. “What are you talking about? We made the EPA like, decades ago.”

“You,” France said, nostrils flaring as he raised his voice above the other’s interjection, “Have thrown a leech into a child’s bathtub, as far as the EPA is concerned.”

Saying nothing, America gripped the delicate opal handle of his own coffee cup and gulped a huge portion of the steamy liquid. It was set back down on the saucer empty.

“Look at you. You guzzle coffee like you guzzle gas.”

“Yeah? Well you’re rude.”

“And you’re careless. You realize that your actions have a global effect, and yet you refuse to change your habits.”

Rolling his eyes, the American took a huffy breath. Glancing to a potted plant on the corner of the balcony, he appeared to kajole himself back into a place of calm self assertion. 

When his head turned back to France, there was a smouldering sheen of suppressed excitement in his eyes. “You don’t understand, France. Sure, I’m not the best at all this leafy green, toes-in-the-dirt stuff. But the other kind of green--that’s different. My industry--it’s gonna be back to what it used to be in no time. I won’t have to think about dept. I won’t have to think about unemployment, or outsourced labor. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even become better than China.”

“China walks around his capital with a paper breathing mask.” France said flatly. He tipped his head in a thoughtful retraction. “Though I must give him credit; his efforts to improve as of late have been _merveilleux_.”

The younger nation, ignoring the comment, rested his forearms across the oceanic surface of the rippled glass, leaned forward, and spoke in a hushed, excited tone. “France, for the first time in decades I feel like I might have the chance to make actual _progress_. Like I’m finally turning inward and taking the time to take care of my _self._ ”

France’s eyes traveled downward, and came to rest upon the other nation’s sunstained forearms. “What is this then?” He said, grabbing one of them and baring the nation's arm to the sharp spotlight of soft sunshine. “Your flesh is bruised with the stamp of development. Your veins are darkening with unregulated pollutants. Your skin is clammy with inundations. You’re addicted to a dwindling fuel source, and hasn’t half the Department of Interior quit you? The national parks are being eaten away. You’ve been bumped and battered in your most beautiful places. ”

The tired yellow of the nation’s eyes widened and he immediately yanked his arm away from the hands that pressed it so delicately.

“I don’t mind. I don’t mind.” He was shrinking back from the parisian in a scandalized, wounded manner. “It’s a temporary price to pay. I’ll bounce back. Looks. Fashion. There are more important things than that. We said this already. I think we’ve said this already. Much more important things.”

“Yes” France said, nodding definitely “Certainly there are. Human health, for instance. Their homes. Their happiness. Their lifespans. All a thousand times more important than fashion. The lives of your people, America. A single human life--” He snapped his fingers twice “--can pass by just like that. Add a dose of mercury poisoning, lead, soiled air, and--” He snapped his fingers once, and let his smooth, glaringly pale hand fall like a wilting dove across the tabletop. “--Even quicker. What’s temporary for you, United States of America, can be a lifetime for others.”

There was a sharp high scrape as the American’s chair propelled away from the table. He was standing. “Shut up. You can tell me I’m sloppy, and stupid, and uncouth all you like. You can accuse me of ruining the world--I wouldn’t say I haven’t, in some ways. I’ve heard it all before. But the moment you say that I don’t care about my people, I’m done. They are my life. They are me.”

“You care? Then show it. Stand up for yourself.”

The nation’s eyes narrowed. “ _Baise toi._ ”

“Oho. He remembers French. _Tu te caches derrière des jurés, mon neveu._ ”

“I’m not hiding, I’m leaving.” The stars and stripes turned his back and began pacing stiffly toward the sliding screen door. Its meshy roar mingled with a brisk interjection from the Frenchman. 

“I trust you’re still coming round for dinner with me and _Angleterre_ this weekend?”

The nation standing in the shade paused. France watched the back of the brown-gold head dip slightly. “Of course.”

“ _Bien.”_

_“Très bien.”_

“Travel safely. _Je t'aime._ ”

“You too. See you later.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story back in 2018, in reaction to several EPA rollbacks, as well as our withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accord...reread it, thought I'd repost it here. Feels like a little time capsule. Kinda weird how the "Paper breathing mask" thing panned out for all our nations (in this story it was a reference to smog). *note: No shade on China. Lately some Americans have been quite rude to China about Corona and such. I do not endorse this.
> 
> But anyways, always happy to hear your thoughts. You might be able to tell my thoughts on some political matters from this, but even when things are this crazy I'm still not gonna attack anybody for theirs if they disagree. (I am pretty good at civilly debating though ;)


End file.
